


Thump Thump Goes the Heart

by vanillascribble



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, GOT7 - Freeform, Kissing, M/M, jjp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 01:09:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16734150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillascribble/pseuds/vanillascribble
Summary: Jinyoung has some trouble recalling how he ended up in Jaebum’s bed.





	Thump Thump Goes the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> A tribute to JJP, rainy days, my cat and all the emotions that remind us we’re humans. Can be read separately on its own, or can be read along with 'Pitter-Patter Goes the Rain', for a better understanding from Jaebum’s POV. Hope you’ll enjoy reading. Comments are always loved <3

Jinyoung x Jaebum / Angst, some fluff / 2,321 words / Twin fic to [Pitter Patter Goes the Rain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16734069)

 

 _Since I’ve been away from you_  
_It has always been raining for me_  
_Using the umbrella to avoid the rain_  
_Is just a waste of time._

_You can’t be erased._

 

Lyrics from **_“Rainy”_** composed by Defsoul (Jaebum GOT7)

 

 

Jinyoung is having some trouble recalling just how exactly he ended up in Jaebum’s bed this morning. Nope, he wasn’t drunk. And nope, he wasn’t exactly horny either.

 

Last that he remembers, he went out on his own after wrapping up their final schedule of the day. Jackson and Yugyeom invited him to join them for some barbeque and drinks later, but he shook his head and mouthed _next time_. Mark asked him if he wanted to go grab some chocolate and mint ice cream before heading back, but he said no to that too. Bambam just wanted to go home and continue editing that new video of the members’ most embarrassing moments (the one he has been working on since last week). Jinyoung wonders whether the final product would be appropriate for general viewers—with Bambam, you just never know. A very tired Youngjae, meanwhile, waved goodbye and exited the building before Jinyoung could remind him to take his vitamins before bed.

Jaebum just gave him a long silent look, as Jinyoung wrapped the midnight blue muffler around his neck and muttered to nobody in particular not to wait up for him.

“Jinyoung, wait.” Jaebum’s voice stopped him in his tracks.

_Please don’t._

“Yeah?” He replied, eyes downcast and wanting to scream _just leave me the hell alone._

“You forgot this.” He pried open Jinyoung’s fist and slipped a hot pack into his palm.

“But this is yours.” Jinyoung tried to resist.

“You can give it back later.” Jaebum said, his all-knowing gaze resting upon Jinyoung’s poker face.

That moment, he felt like slapping Jaebum’s cheek with the hot pack. Hard. _I don’t want anything of yours. Not anymore._

Instead, he pocketed the pack and walked out, unaware of Jaebum’s eyes lingering upon his retreating figure. He hailed a taxi around the corner of the recording studio, asked the driver to drive around the city while he thinks of a destination.

 

Nearly an hour later, he found himself gasping for air as he continued hiking the pedestrian trail winding around Namsan. Couples passed him by, along with old men with canes and teenagers running up ahead. The rumblings of voices and laughter floated around him, riding on the chilly wind but Jinyoung trudged ahead unperturbed—none of it concerned him. Once he reached the top of the mountain, he bought himself a hot citron tea and found a deserted corner of the ledge to sit on. As he set the tea aside and allowed it to cool, he was mesmerised by the night scene folding out in front of him.

Beyond his feet, neon lights flickered all over Seoul, swathing the city in colours (and shadows). For a moment, he visualised himself flying. If he jumps off from the ledge, would he float on thin air? Or would he roll downhill, limbs broken and skin torn, unrecognisable?

_“You can give it back later.”_

He replayed Jaebum’s words upon his departure on a loop, wanting to ask— _what about what I gave you? When are you going to return it to me?_

Suddenly he felt like screaming from the top of his lungs. In fact, he imagined doing it in his head and debated whether he should just let loose and screw the hell of what others might think. But he stopped himself in time and swallowed the scream along with a sip of the lukewarm tea. He chewed through the pieces of lemon peel and a metallic taste burst inside his mouth, coating his tongue.

His phone buzzed once, a voice message from what he knew must be a drunken Yuyeom blasting “Jinyoung-hyung pahboh!!” into his ear.

He wanted to ask— _how did you know? Was I too obvious?_

Despite himself, he chuckled and made a mental note to kill Kim Yugyeom once he sobers up. But he didn’t bother to reply. Instead, he deleted the message and wished Jackson the best of luck in getting the maknae safely home.

 

The autumn wind howled, blowing his bangs against his forehead, and he was transported to one summer night six months ago.

 

* * *

 

 

\- Six months ago-

 

It was already twenty-three minutes past eleven but Jaebum has yet to return home. _Have you eaten anything?_ Jinyoung wondered, staring out at the flashes of lightning zig-zagging across the sky in the far distance.

Earlier that day, Jaebum disappeared when the sun rose, while Jinyoung was still in bed. He muttered something about finishing that damn second verse of the song that he was working on, something about rain and loss and asking that someone to return. Something that Jinyoung knew very well. It has been two weeks since Jaebum began writing the song and now he was stuck with the unfinished lyrics. Jinyoung wondered if he could offer some help and unclog the leader’s songwriting block.

 

On the way to the studio, Jinyoung dropped by a chicken restaurant and ordered a box of seasoned chicken and some cider.

He didn’t have to pause and guess the password to Jaebum’s studio, easily keying in 052012. Jaebum likes to think of himself as a complex individual, but to Jinyoung, Jaebum is a see-through glass. Perhaps he should advise Jaebum to change the password later. If he could guess it, then anyone who knew them could do the same too.

He wasn’t exactly sure how Jaebum would take him being there, to be honest. Jaebum has never invited any of them to his new studio, it’s like his own sacred place where he could be alone, creating music. When he was not writing songs, Jinyoung knew Jaebum would be there anyway, writing away in his dog-eared journal and developing the many rolls of film into pictures in the adjoined darkroom.

He felt an ounce of guilt, invading upon the other guy’s territory like that. But he was curious about the studio too, and well, he kinda misses Jaebum today.

He pushed against the second door and sure enough, there was Jaebum, his head bobbing gently under the dim lights, a pair of ruby red headphone covering his ears. The older guy was not yet aware of his presence, and Jinyoung knew better than to waste the rare opportunity to observe Jaebum in his secret space, doing what he loves.

What happened next when they began eating was totally unplanned, and he couldn’t say exactly what prompted him to act, as he leaned close towards Jaebum, placing their foreheads together. From then on, it was almost as if he was possessed, and a different Jinyoung slipped into his body and slammed his lips to Jaebum’s, knocking all the wind from his lungs in the process.

As they were kissing, he tasted salt, sugar, and soy sauce upon his tongue, and he thought about how all the seasonings encompassed Jaebum. Seasonings which he couldn’t live without. Seasonings which he craved for more and more, as he deepened the kiss and sucked everything good and bad about Jaebum into his own soul. He could feel the rising panic and desperation as it rolled off, seeping down his throat with every push of Jaebum’s tongue against his.

Jinyoung couldn’t tell where he got the courage from but as Jaebum grabbed him by the nape, his fingers crawled to frame the side of Jaebum’s face, imprinting his palm against the other’s cheek. His other hand was lost in Jaebum’s hair, grasping hard at the back of his head. He thought he heard a moan as he tugged hard at the roots, but he couldn’t be sure. He wasn’t sure of anything else but their uneven breaths mingling together, his heart drumming furiously against his ribcage.

At the end of their kiss, it was Jaebum who pulled back first, eyes wide open upon realising what he has done (and thoroughly enjoyed). Jinyoung leaned back in, bit playfully at Jaebum’s lower lip, hungry for more. He has waited so long for this, he had no idea kissing Jaebum would cause him both pain and pleasure.

But Jaebum’s hand against his chest prevented him from advancing further.

“Jinyoung, stop.”

“…”

“What the—”

“What the hell just happened?” Jinyoung completed his sentences for him. _Always. Haven’t you noticed that,_ hyung _?_

“I...I can’t think..” Jaebum turned his face sideways, evading Jinyoung’s intense gaze.

“Hyung, I was the one who ki—..”

“I…I’m sorry, Jinyoung-ah..I…I don’t know what came over me.” Jaebum ran shaky fingers through his hair, and all Jinyoung could think was how Jaebum always ran his fingers through his hair whenever he was caught in a lie. _Pants on fire, are we?_

“I don’t regret it.” Jinyoung stated, his gaze unwavering, studying every inch of the other guy’s side profile.

“What?” Bewildered, Jaebum turned back to face him.

So close. They were so close that all he could see were the twin mole above Jaebum’s eye.

“I said, I don’t regret it. In fact, I like it.” Jinyoung added, for emphasis.

“…”

“Say something. Please.”

“…Jinyoung-ah…”

“Yes?”

“Leave.” Jaebum’s request came out in a soft whisper, but Jinyoung heard thunder.

“What?”

“You have to leave—I…I have work to do.”

“Are you seriously not go—”

“PD-nim is expecting me tomorrow.”

“…”

“Go. I’ll see you afterwards.”

Upon the final sentence, Jaebum swivelled back towards his workstation and began meddling with the keyboard.

“Hyung..?”

Jinyoung tried to salvage the situation, but as Jaebum wore his headphone again and cranked up the volume to the maximum, Jinyoung knew the moment was lost.

_Trying to drown out your own voice, huh?_

_‘”I didn’t know what came over me”._

_Haha. Seriously,_ Im _Jaebum? That’s the best excuse you could concoct from thin air?_

 

* * *

 

 

“Well, fuck you and your lame excuses!” Jinyoung screamed into the night, breaking his reverie and broadcasting all his bottled-up anger and frustration to the wind, not caring anymore if someone heard him. His voice echoed through the hollow crevices of the mountain and he couldn’t care less if the whole outburst is broadcasted from Namsam Tower to the whole city. _Serves you right to be such a jerk. You didn’t even bat an eyelid at me, not even a kind word. Serves you right,_ Im _Jaebum!_

Jinyoung knew very well that he couldn’t turn back time. But even if he could, he doubted he would have changed anything that happened that night, despite knowing the consequences.

He must have sat there for hours, until his back began to ache and his muscles begged for mercy. Then he figured it was time to leave, letting himself through their front door at a quarter past four in the morning. The household was quiet, except for the ticking of the clock hanging in the living room and droplets of water dripping from a leaking faucet that they never got around to fixing. Walking in, Jinyoung just want to sleep and not think about having to face Jaebum come daylight. He unbuttoned his coat, let it fall on the floor and was heading towards his room when the rain poured down; staccato beats against the city (and his utterly utterly stupid, yearning heart). As he passed by Jaebum’s room, something akin to a stone lodged itself in his throat and his eyes grew moisty. Anger and sorrow morphed into something else altogether; a tornado blazing destructive trail in his veins.

He didn’t think. Couldn’t think. Was too tired to think. So he threw the door open and climbed into Jaebum’s bed, shoving his face against the other guy’s sleeping back moments before the dam broke. Jinyoung didn’t care if he wakes Jaebum from sleep. He didn’t care if Jaebum pushes him away, uncaring once again come morning.

Outside, the downpour raged on, propelling dead leaves into clogged drains and all Jinyoung could do is dip his head against the familiar space between the crook of Jaebum’s neck and shoulder, seeking shelter from the storm.

 _Just five minutes,_ hyung _. Five more minutes and then I’ll go._

 

* * *

 

 

So morning comes and goes, but Jinyoung remains. Five minutes turn into three hours and as the seconds tick away, he wishes he could just stay there. Jaebum stirs awake and Jinyoung holds his breath. Perhaps if he refrains from breathing, Jaebum would miss his presence altogether. _Would you…miss me?_

But his breath hitches when Jaebum covers his hand and thread their fingers together, his knuckles knocking against the door holding Jaebum’s heart captive. Jaebum grasps tightly—once, twice before releasing his hand and turning his body sideways to face him. Their eyes meet across the pillow and Jinyoung wonders if it his cue to leave, as reality dawns upon Jaebum’s sleepy features.

“Jinyoung-ah..” Jaebum whispers, his voice so soft that it breaks Jinyoung’s heart all over again.

“..I know—I’ll go..” He swallows bitterness and tries to feign a smile, moving away from Jaebum’s warmth.

 _How far must I go—when no distance is safe enough,_ hyung _?_

But before he could do so, the older guy envelops him in a bone-crushing hug, blocking his escape route and Jinyoung finds himself pressed against the sturdy wall of Jaebum’s chest. And despite the conflicting feelings raging inside him, he allows himself to sink further and further into the warmth emanating from Jaebum’s body slammed against his.

“Stay.” Jaebum pleads. Fingers playing with his hair.

“But I thought you wanted me to—”

“Just. Stay.” _Please. And forgive me already?_

 

Outside, thunder rolls in and lightning strikes silver blue daggers across the sky. But all Jinyoung could hear is the steady hum of Jaebum’s heart, beating beneath his cheek.

_Thump thump._

_Thump thump._

Jinyoung might have trouble recalling just how exactly he ended up in Jaebum’s bed this morning. Nope, he wasn’t drunk. And nope, he wasn’t exactly horny either.

_Angry? Not any longer._

_In love?_

…

Despite himself, Jinyoung begins to smile against Jaebum’s chest, as he drapes his arm around the other’s waist and snuggles closer. _Well, perhaps._

 

_Forgiven._

 

 

-The End -

 


End file.
